@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it
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@markleggett: Clinton and Trump now enter the part of the election where they each have to spend a week looking after an egg with “America” written on it.
@danjan13: Not a single one of my girlfriends has stuck around to see how many old school WWF finishing moves I know.
@SemFitty: Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins? Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.