@realHamOnWry: I bought myself two eggplants and so far neither has laid a single egg.
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@jake_likes_naps: [astronaut test] Before you begin, questions? [hand raised] "Is it true the moon is cheese?" Are you that damn mouse again? [mouse runs out]
@Smooheed: Got so drunk last night that I was able to translate three Pearl Jam albums into English
@djdarrellripley: I can be a real tiger in bed. No, wait, wait... What's that animal that plays dead?