@realHamOnWry: I bought myself two eggplants and so far neither has laid a single egg.
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@LuvPug: It's like the people who drive Smart cars don't even realize that other cars are an option.
@DebasaurusRex: Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.
@thenatewolf: *A coyote bites my leg in front of a girl I like but I wanna seem cool so I just keep walking and take it with me*
@HowToBeADad: I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.