@realHamOnWry: I bought myself two eggplants and so far neither has laid a single egg.
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@only_one_ee: Trainer: OK this week we are cutting carbs. Me: Wait, what - even macaroni & cheese? Trainer: Ya. Me: ...I think we should see other people.
@PaperWash: [Jesus opens his fortune cookie] SOMEONE WILL BETRAY YOU "Uh oh" YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS ARE 4 2 0 6 9 "Haha nice!"
@chrisdelia: Hey girls, you are not a "mommy" just because you own a dog. You have to have a kid to be a mommy. If you are a mommy, then I am a dragon.