@MichaelTrying: I bought one follower just to see what it was like and he showed up at my job and his name is Eddie and he’s kind of freaking me out guys.
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@Kelly_skeleton: Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Trump: 🎶 Do you wanna build a snowman? 🎶 Elsa: Who will pay for this snowman? Trump: 🎶 Ok byeee 🎶
@dreamthievin: I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream.
@gruffybeard: Counselor: Why do you resent your wife Me: She made me get out of line for Springsteen tix C: Why M: Something about her water breaking