@bigmacher: I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I'm lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles.
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@3sunzzz: I took a Viagra just to see what would happen, I couldn't sit down for four hours. Narrator: Ursula should never be left unsupervised.
@LetMeStart: 8yo, as I read her a fairy tale at bedtime: WOW your chin is hairy. Me: ...so the witch threw the overly-observant kid in the oven. The End.
@Chumpstring: My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace.
@Ms_WhateverV: "You can't tell me what to do! I do what I want!"- toddlers, teenagers and US congress