@bigmacher: I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I'm lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles.
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@marknorm: After learning about hieroglyphics, it makes you realize that Egyptians invented the emoji.
@davidkenny100: Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur
@TeaPainUSA: If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada.