@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
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@farleftcoast: Text from husband: Where are you at? Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.
@Awk0Tacoo: Me: *in bed with dogs* *car drives down street* Dogs: HOW DARE YOU MAKE A NOISE WHILE OUR HUMAN IS SLEEPING, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
@Reverend_Scott: [funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* "That's what... *gargle* ...she said." *dies again*