@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
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@WildeThingy: "I loves hows you've done me spinach Doc!" Popeye tells his host. Hannibal winks. "The secret is to add a bit of Olive Oil."
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.
@AthenaMystique: How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair? Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking.
@WyanRilson: The hardest part of potty training my puppy is shitting outside with him so he can learn how to