@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
@DaddyJew: Back in my day we had another word for selfie sticks, we called them friends.
@Tmoney68: If Twitter has done nothing else, it's trained me to spell words like diarrhea, gonorrhea & chlamydia without spell check.
@Tups13: Eating Doritos and watching Judge Judy in my underpants.
Why is Judge Judy in my house? And why is she wearing my underpants??
@FreakVibess: If you don't mind..
@KalvinMacleod: Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder.