@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
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@shkeeber: Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family.
@bmarked21: Don't expect me to tweet between 8 & 9 pm because that's when I dress like Madonna for an hour and dance provocatively in front of my pets.