@gm_cage: I bought theater food once. Long story short my son will no longer be going to college..
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@squirrel74wkgn: [drive-thru at 2am] Whaazzuupp!? Lemme gets 12 tacos, 6 burritos, and a Diet Coke. Booyah! Neighbor's mailbox: ...
@NoTrophy4You: When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?"."Not yet," she replied
@deedles420: My doctor wants to have me tested for lupus which is ridiculous, as I've never even seen a werewolf.