@Marlebean: I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
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@naughty_aditi: Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
@turtledumplin: A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you'll hear me say 'please don't eat me' ......aaaand send
@ThaJawn: Wife: Don't forget your lunch! You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached -later that day- Horseman: I'm home! And guess what happened!