@Marlebean: I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
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@UncleDuke1969: Kids today have it easy! In the old days, before smartphones & Instagram, by the time we finished the painting, our food was already cold.
@dulcetry: I know we haven't talked in awhile but I've been thinking about us a lot and I was wondering if u remembered the name of that burrito place
@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that
@oxygenplug: "Yo bro this horse is actin a little weird" "Dude thats my dog get off" "why is ur horse so small" "Its a DOG" Why u pronouncing horse weird