@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."
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@TheTweetOfGod: The good news is, Tony Abbott says Australia may have spotted two pieces of the plane. The bad news is, Tony Abbott says a lot of things.
@nimble__nick: Dog: [Barks at the mailman] Human: Bad dog. Dog: [Turns to the camera] My human hates bills, yet gets mad when I try to scare the guy off.
@WilliamRodgers: I'm not sure which is worse: People who force their religion on you... Or Anyone who's ever said "Oh it's because I'm a Virgo."