@rachelle_mandik: I brought a glue gun to a knife fight. Those knives aren't going anywhere.
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@CalebTenenbaum: If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something...
@sploosk: The only time my wife will ever scream "DEEPER, DEEPER" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground
@shutupmikeginn: I'm a club photographer, I take pictures at the club and people pay me to delete them