@EliTerry: I brought a gun that shoots knives to a gun fight. Everybody was like whoa. We didn't even fight. Went to get nachos. Cool group of dudes.
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@Freudianscript: *Maybe try dressing up as SpongeBob this Halloween, since you're so self absorbed.* -Me as a therapist
@Sorrowscopes: Aries: You will be visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They're all married, so don't even ask.
@QwertyJones3: PSYCHIC: I can see your future ME: Are you really a medium? PSYCHIC: *shows me the size on her shirt tag* ME: Medium. Son of a gun...
@dubstep4dads: that earthquake in LA was actually a huge crowd of white girls rushing into a wal-mart to buy a green t-shirt last minute