@pmclellan: I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol.
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@zero3_benz: You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
@Gooooats: People who criticize the year 2016 seem to have forgotten that back in May McDonald's accidentally gave me a Chicken McNugget with my fries.
@ericsshadow: Winning an argument with a woman is like getting 1st prize in a "who wants to sleep on the couch" contest.
@TheTweetOfGod: I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken.