@chubbbypanda: I burned 1000 calories by lighting my arm on fire
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@KevinFarzad: "Is it long enough to reach most people's beds?" "Yes." "Perfect, make it a couple inches shorter." -Apple, creating the iPhone charger.
@DaddyJew: Your mom doesn't understand Your dad doesn't understand Your friends don't understand But french fries, french fries understand you
@Stryfe74: Forgetting what you went into the kitchen to get is one thing but, it's darn scary when you can't remember why you went into the bathroom!