@ClichedOut: I buy my shoes three sizes too big so if I run into a clown posse I'll have automatic street cred.
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@DeathStarPR: Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight.
@iwearaonesie: wife: I wish you were more romantic me *starts biting the chicken nugget I'm eating into the shape of a heart*
@HiddenPinky: Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. "You mean salami?" No, just a single salamus. "People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."
@Dawn_M_: Astronauts wear helmets to hide their tears when they discover the moon isn't made of cheese.