@ClichedOut: I buy my shoes three sizes too big so if I run into a clown posse I'll have automatic street cred.
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@TheMichaelRock: 12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What's wrong with the one we live in? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
@Sassafrantz: I just introduced my date as P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney because I forgot his name. How's your night?
@aaronup: Psssst. Hey you, Yeah you...Facebook parent. Your kid looks the same as it did 8 minutes ago. When you posted the other 45 pics. We get it