@ClichedOut: I buy my shoes three sizes too big so if I run into a clown posse I'll have automatic street cred.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@economybacon: Man, my car is so fast, it could outrun a man combined with a horse "You mean Centaur, right?" Ohhh somebody went to college ooohh
@Just_Lee_: Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words.
@mrjohndarby: In the middle of an important meeting I quietly pass my boss a post-it note. It just says 'girl cats have wherskers'. He nods
@internetluke: [police show picture of my dead body at bottom of stairs to wife] "Why no pants on?" We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell