@SonOfCha: I call all dogs 'puppies', regardless of age. They like it.
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@Tom_Vom: It sounded like someone on a moped was approaching but it turned out to be 1,000 bees on a regular bicycle.
@pleatedjeans: [first date] girl: I bet you're really cute under those glasses [removes frames/is instantly obliterated by Cyclops' optic blast]
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] Did you really think bringing a puppy with you to the interview would help you get the job? "Yes" WELL YOU'RE RIGHT.