@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I call bullshit, airport baby changing station! I wanted an Asian baby but I'm stuck with the white kid I flew in with.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MondayPajamas: Sometimes you run into people who totally change your life for the better. Bartenders.. Those people are called bartenders
@JustDontBugMe: [god creating raccoons] God: Make a giant squirrel that's dressed like a burglar and greedy af. Angel: But... God: Just do it.
@hyperblastchic: Me: That was fun! Fist me! Him: What?! Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles* Him: .....
@sgothreau: What the hell Hollywood? I've never had to rub blood between my fingers to know that it's blood.