@CassandrasJack: I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends
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@NathanBgood: "Can't beat fresh apple pie" she says, setting 1 down. I slam my fist into it. 3rd degree burns. "Wrong" I whisper 4 hrs later in the ER.
@sixfootcandy: [date] Him: So where are you from? Me: According to my parents, I was born in a barn.
@iGreenMonk: The first step is admitting you have a problem. Unless your problem is always admitting things then I don't really know how to help you.