@CassandrasJack: I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends
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@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.
@MooseAllain: In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex.
@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@GodlessUtopia: "I'm not usually religious, but..." - Dan Mintz #LGBT #gayrights #equality #atheist #ReligiousFreedom . .