@CassandrasJack: I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.
@cameronrbrown: Just one more week until I can finally eat candy out of my socks again.... without looking weird.
@Slims_Ramblings: Confidence should never be confused with arrogance. Arrogance is spelled way differently.
@lazerdoov: Gonna get "na na na na na na na na" tattooed on my forearm. I'll tell girls it's Hey Jude and I'll tell dudes it's the Batman theme.