@wesjohnson8: I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.
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@Tmoney68: Friend: You thinking what I'm thinking? Me: It's bullshit there weren't schools from other continents in the Triwizard Tournament? F: ....
@ericsshadow: DOCTOR: [holding $5 bill] what's this for? ME: it's a tip DOCTOR: okay but you're still dying ME: [hands him another $5 bill]
@robfee: Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (2011) A bunch of adults trash a high school bc a noseless man thinks a child is better than him at magic
@onion_an: [1st day as judge] Murderer: [waves at me] Me [waves back]: He seems nice Lawyer: He killed six people Me: He probably didn't mean it