@wesjohnson8: I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.
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@ibid78: Probably the hardest part about being a dj is when you get into a fight and you gotta hold your headphones up to your ear with one shoulder.
@findmydolls: In September a 127 yr old woman passed away, which we already KNOW is a lie bc the earth isn't even 127 yrs old. Don't be ignorant.
@markedly: GOD: Mark, I have chosen you. You will know answers to all of life's mysteries, just listen to the voicemail I left you. ME: voicemail? ugh
@FBSisnothere: Why does everyone mention that in space no-one can hear you scream instead of mentioning something positive like how no-one can hear u yodel