@wesjohnson8: I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.
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@MrSpoonicorn: *a tree branch bursts into a bank with a gun* "THIS IS A STICK UP" *everyone laughs* "GUYS IM SERIOUS" *more laughter* "DAMN IT" *leaves*
@dafloydsta: ME: Not gonna make it in today. I hurt my updog. BOSS: What's updog? ME: Nothing much, prolly just gonna take a nap.
@reczit: Help is a magic word. Say it to people & watch them disappearing from the horizon of your life.