@Papa_Mex: I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone
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@Holy_Mowgli: [spelling bee] JUDGE: the word is "semicolon" ME: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: not really, no
@sarousti: Definition of Insomnia: Finding a spider in your bedroom & when you leave for a second to get the spray & come back it's gone
@SortaBad: Mario: hey u up? Princess: yeah y? M: come over ;) P: can't. Kidnapped :( M: Where? I'll save u P: castle. Up stairs, next 2 flagpole M: k
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Prominently display feminine hygiene products in your living space to let him know your eggs are still viable.