@Papa_Mex: I call McDonald's to make a reservation for Valentine's Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone
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@SteveSuckington: ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering
@GrantTanaka: Hi 911, I’d like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol
@dyldonot: *ball flies past 15 love -aw thanks *ball flies past 30 love -too kind *ball flies past 40 love -you too babe Have you played tennis before?