@Schmoodles: I call my bedroom 'The place where the magic happens' because one night a guy locked me in a box and tried to saw me in half.
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@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus
@thenatewolf: Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization.
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out
@proEXgirlfriend: Telling people to ban same sex marriage cuz of your religion is like telling the supermarket to stop selling junk food cuz you're on a diet.