@FuckabillyRex: I call my depression Visa because it’s everywhere I want to be.
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@FeelingEuphoric: [coffee shop] BARISTA: may i help you? GUY WHO DEFINITELY LOOKS LIKE A SWARM OF BUTTERLIES IN A TRENCH COAT: you’re out of sugar water
@OutOfLeftField_: Women's voices naturally get higher as they get excited so if you're in bed and she still sounds like Morgan Freeman, try harder.
@mommajessiec: My 9yo drew a picture of me throwing away their drawings which, ironically, is going to be the one picture I save.