@Kendragarden: I call my nephews "Dude" and "Homie" because I'm the cool Aunt! (I don't know their names.)
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@GoldenSpirals: The sign at the pool says, Children Under 12 Require Supervision. I guess anyone over 12 is allowed in with only normal eyesight.
@rickygervais: A Christian telling an atheist he is going to Hell is about as scary as a small child telling an adult they wont get any presents from Santa
@AnOrangeSNES: In retrospect, dressing as a killer whale when I was assigned to assassinate the Pope wasn't my best idea. I blame Ubisoft, honestly.
@batkaren: [finding a secret passage in my NYC-apartment that leads to a corpse-filled torture dungeon] HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRA SPACE I HAVE!