@armyVet1972: I call my wife the iNag because she has 32GB of complaints and they're set on shuffle.
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@HouseWithDoors: *playing poker* *my opponent smirks* "All in." he says. *pair of aces* *I smile* *throws down a pair of Olsen twins* "Full House."
@defdanielle: there are naturally attractive people and then there are people like me who take pictures from good angles with the right lighting
@kiralc: explaining cat scratches is like defending an abusive boyfriend to your parents "he didn't mean it" "you guys just don't know him like I do"