@Parentpains: I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
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@thetits: Nice empty fish tank It'd be a shame if someone were to FILL IT WITH SNAKES! *the terrarium is invented*
@Book_Krazy: *Ok, don't let them know you're a dog* Him: The job is yours. Here's the keys to your new office. [tosses keys] *catches keys in my mouth*
@stevevsninjas: The biggest myth about travel is "packing light" - don't bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
@jon_bois: drinking a crystal pepsi! finally found something i have absolutely zero feelings about, positive or negative. at least with drywall or the milwaukee brewers there’s negligible level of residual opinion. this one is just a total flatline. it’s kind of nice. ah shit i messed it up