@TheRealRHB: I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
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@iAmDelFreaky: Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby.
@Carols10cents: 1998: - Don't get in strangers' cars - Don't meet ppl from internet 2016: - Literally summon strangers from internet to get in their car
@sofarrsogud: ON PHONE WITH MY MOM HER: You still single and living with your stray cat family? ME: *proudly* No I am not! *high fives my pet penguin