@buttnight: I came home to a trail of bread leading to the bedroom & of course I followed, only to find my husband in bed with 10 ducks. I'm heartbroken
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@Thynebear: Did you seriously hire a mentally unstable person to drive our kids just so you could say he's driving them crazy? Me as a principal: Maybe
@mamamia6212: My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons
@Donna_McCoy: Reduce stage fright with a little vodka before the show. Bring enough vodka for everyone, and you won't even have to perform.
@KristinGnr: To the jogger clinging to the hood of my car: That's why you run WITH the flow of traffic