@ProudFFAalumni: I came, I saw, the neighbors complained.
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@noog: [aliens talking] "They call it a sel-fee" A photograph of oneself? "Sometimes several" But why? "We have one theory" Go on "They're idiots"
@mc_funbags: People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient.
@Holy_Mowgli: ~mattress store ME:i need to use the intercom CASHIER:no M:this time for real…my kid's lost C: M: C:fine M:*to entire store*I SEE BED PEOPLE