@ProudFFAalumni: I came, I saw, the neighbors complained.
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@TheMichaelRock: Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
@galiamango: I'm not a shout it from the rooftops kind of person, but I'll write it on a post-it and leave it lying around for people to see.
@pro_failure: My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.
@mindintheshadow: My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while.