@punmagnate: I came up with a new word yesterday: Plagiarism
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@PetrickSara: I refused to buy my 5yo a tablet, and now she's resorted to hand-drawing angry emojis on pieces of paper to express her frustration.
@DanMentos: LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You’ll see it when you’re pooping
@Book_Krazy: Cute cat "Thanks. We dont let him in though cause he shreds" You mean sheds? "No" [gestures to cat shredding to Van Halen on the back patio]