@punmagnate: I came up with a new word yesterday: Plagiarism
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@TwoSapphiresBlu: During pelvic exam: Dr.: Your cervix is very high. Me: OMG, weed affects your cervix too?!
@HatfieldAnne: For two years in high school, I took guitar lessons. Something interesting I learned is that guitar resale nets a 45% loss.
@GrantTanaka: Barista: name? Benedict Cumberbatch: Benedict Cumberbatch Barista [writes "Benedict Cumberbatch"] Benedict Cumberbatch: holy shit
@jake_lach: Holy shit. I just realized this sales kid is treating me this way because he thinks I'm old