@MissItAintMe: I can actually decide what is inspirational on my own. But thanks for the warning
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Saying Trump can't be an antisemite because his daughter converted to Judaism is like saying he can't be sexist because he married a woman.
@skadel68: Human Resources just came up with a cool new term for just about everything I like to do at work. They call it "inappropriate"
@weinerdog4life: I like to push the "stop time" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot.
@BigHeb7: I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying.