@kiralc: i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad.
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@Fruit_Slinger: I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory.
@clindsaysway: Overheard, my parents, watching the World Cup: Dad: Who are you routing for? Mom: I'm routing for it to be over.
@ventivodkacran: You'd think these people on Grey's Anatomy would've already figured out that a major disaster is going to happen every year around May.
@david8hughes: [bday party] Mum: happy birthday son Me: wow that's a huge cake! Mum: its full of bees Me: what Mum [backing away]: I said it's cream cheese