@dril: i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes
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@MoneypennyNaked: Me: I just need some time alone, please. *closes door* - Ma'am, if you're not trying on clothes, we'll need you to leave the dressing room.
@thefosterer: If I ever lose my girlfriend in the mall I just start checking other girls out and bam there she is yelling at me
@mattgallo123: Febreeze works just like in the commercials, only instead of being impressed, mom comes home and says "it still smells like pot in here."