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@TheMichaelRock: I can either be on time or wearing pants.
@DistractedMomma: My kids use all the toilet paper, dictate when I sleep and eat, and destroy everything I own. My house is its own little communist country.
@Pro_Jones_: Dad Dinosaur: Look son a shooting star make a wish!
Angsty Teen Dinosaur: I wish it would hit us and kill us all.
@SincerelyTumblr: mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
@LoveNLunchmeat: Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras.
@liv_thatsme: I always bring 2 pop tarts to work, so I can eat one now and the other one also now.