@XplodingUnicorn: I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say "no."
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@Storminika: I like to take candy from a kid cause sugar is bad for them. Then, I eat it in front of them while saying, "don't do this"
@roostermustache: Obama:*sits down and whoopee cushion makes fart noise* what th- JOE Biden:*tears in his eyes, points at trump* HE WAS SUPPOSED TO SIT THERE
@NicestHippo: You had a flat tire on the highway? What was that like? [cut to: me crying helplessly until AAA arrives] Your survival instincts take over
@sips_whiskey: If by speaking Spanish you mean speaking in English but slower and louder, then yes, I speak Spanish.