@XplodingUnicorn: I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say "no."
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@davedittell: WIFE: Dave's here HUSBAND: Dave from work or Dave who always wears scarves? ME: [from downstairs] I got caught in the ceiling fan again!
@Birdhumms: I've had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.
@Iwriteforcats: Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth.