@XplodingUnicorn: I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say "no."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mommy_cusses: My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant.
@Birdhumms: 70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance.
@thestlouisan: *Plots revenge by getting a job at a fast food restaurant and waiting for nemesis to drive thru and not putting a straw in their bag*
@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, World Cup. If I wanted to watch dudes run around for 3 hours and leave with a tie, I'd just go to Sears.