@Spaziotwat: I can finish The Times' crossword in under five minutes but I struggle to eat the whole paper
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@bourgeoisalien: the saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead
@WeissBrandon: My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!
@atthecubicle: Just tested the structural integrity of a door frame with my face. It's pretty solid.