@Spaziotwat: I can finish The Times' crossword in under five minutes but I struggle to eat the whole paper
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@PJTLynch: Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
@KimJongSean: The thought of having my own kids is scary because anyone who's half me and half someone dumb enough to have sex with me is doomed
@utofellatio: Obama: we need to create a plan to reduce pollution Biden: *turns from watching captain planet* have you asked the planeteers for help?