@ShanaRose21: I can never find my cars keys but I won't forget that time you checked out another woman at the mall four years ago.
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@JasonLastname: Show your neighbor they shouldn't park their boat outside of their house by filling it with two of every animal.
@bourgeoisalien: My favorite German children's story is that one where some unspeakably terrifying thing happens to teach a minor lesson.
@bigmacher: No, I'm not telling my wife the reason we need a new blender is because I didn't remove the pit from the avocado, that's between us.