@jergarl: I can never remember if my best foot is supposed to go forward or in my mouth.
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@NakedHangover: What I learned in college: 1. Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
@SergioValenCo: I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut.
@DanMentos: dispatch: we have a home invasion robbery in progress on the far side of the lake rowboat cop: *grabs oar* I'll be there in 6 hours