@jergarl: I can never remember if my best foot is supposed to go forward or in my mouth.
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@KngHnryVIII: When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay
@junejuly12: Me: My Amazon order arrived! Him: What did you get? Me: *scratches behind dragon's ears* Nothing important. Him: New happy pills? Me: Maybe.