@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.

@SamGrittner: *job interview* "So this yearbook isn't your resume?" "No. I'm not a moron. Those are my references. I highlighted all the NEVER CHANGE's."

@SamuelHLowe: - If you insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you! - Don't be selfish, think about the baby. - What baby? - Oh, so you're not pregnant?

@JermHimselfish: There used to be 9 planets, just like there used to be 9 members of Wu-Tang, but then ODB died so they had to kick Pluto out of the group.

@LoneWolfStories: This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy.