@Mikecanrant: I can only handle so much of a screaming kid on a long car ride before I pull over, take them off the roof, and let them back in.
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@Mr_Kapowski: I woke up angry this morning She doesn’t like when I call her that but I just call it like I see it
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? [flashback to me trying to sword fight all the customers at Toys R Us] Me: discrimination
@Bagyants: My gangster name would be The Street. If someone dared to oppose me I'd say ominous things like "Look both ways before you cross The Street"