@TexasHickspanic: I can only please one person a day, and i already pleased myself this morning.. so y'all are screwed!
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@robwhisman: ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic
@juicymorsel: My teen thought it'd be funny to unfriend me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.
@rad_milk: women wearing veils at their wedding arent fooling anybody. you invited us to this shit we know its you under there. cut the crap lady