@TexasHickspanic: I can only please one person a day, and i already pleased myself this morning.. so y'all are screwed!
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@causticbob: what's the medical term for a female-to-male gender reassignment surgery? an addadictomy
@SadieSkyNinja: Indian Twitter is a lot like regular Twitter except everyone is misquoting Gandhi instead of Marilyn Monroe.
@KenJennings: Bad news, the police just seized our German holiday bread. They said it was stollen. Folks, they said it was stollen.