@CroweJam: I can tell how uncomfortable a person is just by hugging them for 17 minutes.
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@TheDairylandDon: If I hear people screaming, I always go check on them. Not because I'm nosy or some kind of hero. There might be ice cream.
@ShortSleeveSuit: HR: Alright people, let's be a little more sensitive to Linda bc she's pregnant with child Sally [who is pregnant with a hedgehog]: *sigh*