@FatherWithTwins: I can tell my 5yo will make a great politician someday by the way he uses other kids as human shields in dodgeball.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kangel76: If "Cops" has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they're nothing but trouble...
@Pro_Jones_: (Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet.
@lovemydogduck: Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered.