@TheWoodenslurpy: I can tell so much about a person just by guessing.
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@abbycohenwl: -Houston, do you copy? -Houston, do you copy? -God damn it, Houston! -God damn it, Houston!
@SamGirlSunday: If Kim Kardashian & Snooki were drowning & I could only save one, I'd have a hard time deciding whether to make a sandwich or take a nap.
@aka_fatman: *writing résumé* Strengths? I'm great at multitasking *explosion in kitchen* My popcorn! *car crashes through fence* I forgot I was driving!