@jackiembouvier: I can tell Spring is almost here because I'm on the verge of wanting to kill myself but I'd also like to plant some bulbs.
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@stephenjmolloy: *after 7 hours in a Chinese restaurant* Me to waiter: "Actually, do you think I could have a fork?"
@jimmytorosian: A lawyer walks into a bar. A lawyer leaves the bar. A lawyer walks into the bar. A lawyer fails the bar because he was drunk.
@BeardSpice: "Do you have Coke" No, is Pepsi okay "Do you have updog" What's updog "Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay"