@ewfeez: I can turn anything into a boomerang just by throwing it straight up
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@mstluvstrinkets: I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse.
@AlexRogaski: [2 Years into Cosmetology School] Me:[applying perfect contours] When are we gonna start learning about space?
@ilovepie84: They say rabbits don't have glasses because they eat carrots. They also don't have thumbs. I like my thumbs so i don't eat carrots.