@ewfeez: I can turn anything into a boomerang just by throwing it straight up
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@IamEnidColeslaw: my favorite game is called "Secret Family." I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me
@therealeatwood: “Errors in pronunciation eventually become part of the language if used widely enough over a long period of time” — linguists, supposably
@MoistPork: If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?
@LilMamacitaDont: I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have "followed" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help.