@pabstdriver: I can usually tell how productive I've been at work, by the battery life of my phone.
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@dshack8: My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas.
@Marlebean: I'm nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.
@amishschool: My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning.