@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
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@GinAndJif: Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?
@ChaseMit: America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone.