@karlainvt: I cannot breath, walk, or bend over but DAYUM these skinny jeans look good.
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@WritePlay: Ways to get ants out of your house: 1) Ant traps 2) Say you had a good time but it's late & you have work tomorrow 3) Set house on fire
@dorkwing_duck: Fox Mulder, age 6: *looks under pillow* MOM! IT DISAPPEARED! Mom: the Tooth Fairy took it, dear Fox: you mean... the tooth is out there?
@AnitaHelmet: When it comes to sex, I really need to have a connection. Otherwise the page just keeps buffering and it takes FOREVER to load.
@DBrownpants: If you ask me to review a restaurant, I have two answers. "The hamburgers are good." And, "They don't have hamburgers."