@karlainvt: I cannot breath, walk, or bend over but DAYUM these skinny jeans look good.
@WheelTod: I was so touched last week when a shopkeeper handed my 3yo a donut without checking with me, that today I gave his teen a bag of heroin.
@Sarcasmo718: I'm trying, but all the Liam Neeson jokes are taken.
@jwoodham: MIDDLE EAST: How can we stop ISIS?
EUROPE: How can we save our economy?
AMERICA: What color is this dress?!
@_xLNc: I always have too much month left at the end of my money.