@karlainvt: I cannot breath, walk, or bend over but DAYUM these skinny jeans look good.
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@koalaslament: I always live in constant fear that a bicep avi is gonna steal my lady and treat her right
@shutupmikeginn: Call me when you have $50,000 and you'll get your little girl back. Call in the next five minutes and I'll throw in a second kid as a gift.
@Try2StopME: My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber.
@ClaytonSykes: Barber pointed out my new gray hairs and said I looked refined. I hope someone tells him the key marks on his car looks like racing stripes.