@RidiculousSheri: I can't afford Ugg boots, so I just never shave below the knee to create the illusion that I'm wearing them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: My 1-year-old has been beeping at me all morning. I thought there was something wrong with her. Turns out she's being R2-D2.
@AndrewNadeau0: The reason fish come wrapped in newspaper is because the easiest way to catch them is to sneak up on them when they’re reading.
@lisaxy424: the mechanic said it would be $800 to fix my brakes and I actually thought "how badly do I need them"
@DeanB15: Kim Kardashian compared getting through her divorce was like beating cancer. Except cancer is real. She should compare her stupidity to it.