@Sirrruh: I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission
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@blaha_Who: My main goal in life is to become a cooking show judge Mostly because I like to criticize people while I eat
@rickkondell: Apparently, if you stop to help an armored truck broke down on the side road, they'll mace and taser you. In that order.
@ruinedpicnic: [Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent's jacket] Terrorist: FBI? Agent: uhhh Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector
@astutenewf: Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags? Me: Kidding? At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.