@Sirrruh: I can't be the only woman who gets creeped out when she realizes her ovaries sniff out and sync up with other ovaries without her permission
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@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@dreamthievin: If I have 5 apples and I give you 2 of them, just take the other 3 cause I'm going out for tacos
@rockymomax: [date] ME: do you have kids or pets? HER: a son and a cat ME: what are their names? HER: John & Batman ME: nice! my son is also named Batman