@Rivs01: I can't believe I used to talk to people.
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@aveuaskew: My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I've been meowing out the window for 30.
@markleggett: If your rice accidentally gets wet, you can dry it out overnight by placing it in a bowl of cellphones.
@Skullcat: I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I'll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.