@laurrlor: I can't believe I'm in class on Presidents' Day. This is an obamanation.
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@StinkyGr33n: I went to the bathroom and forgot my phone. Had to read the little paper about Toxic Shock Syndrome from the tampon box again
@dubstep4dads: i like how at this walmart they put baby food products in the checkout lane. like oops thats right i have a baby to feed
@justabloodygame: Damn girl, are you astrophysics? Because I don't know enough about you to finish this joke.
@LindaInDisguise: Bohemian Rhapsody should be an official unit of measure. "I can shower in 1 Bohemian Rhapsody." "Ran a 5K in under 6 Bohemian Rhapsodies."