@meganamram: I can't believe it's 2012 and street signals are still only telling white people to cross
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@StinkyGr33n: Boss to our group: "Let's talk about what inspires you. Mike, you go first." Me: *Goes home*
@Brentweets: I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
@Bonkaz: Flies & moths are so dumb. You can fly anywhere in the world for free with no passport and you decide to fly into my room. You will die.